Sunday, February 3, 2013

All Too Well




I made a decision today that changes how I view everything. . . Part of me feels good. Part of me is alright. . . but I'm not okay. It was the scariest thing I've ever done. . . and I'm honestly not sure why this had to happen like this. 

Here's the lyrics to Taylor Swift's song "All Too Well", which completely describes how I feel. 





I walked through the door with you, the air was cold

But something about it felt like home somehow.
And I left my scarf there at your sister's house
And you still got it in your drawer even now.

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze

We're singing in the car getting lost upstate
Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place
And I can picture it after all these days

And I know it's long gone

And that magic's not here no more
And I might be okay
But I'm not fine at all

'Cause there we are again on that little town street.

You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over me.
Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well.

Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red

You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-size bed
Your mother's telling stories about you on the tee ball team
You tell me about your past, thinking your future was me

And I know it's long gone

And there was nothing else I could do
And I forget about you long enough
To forget why I needed to

'Cause there we are again, in the middle of the night

We dance around the kitchen in the refrigerator light
Down the stairs, I was there, I remember it all too well, yeah

Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much

And maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up
Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well

And you call me up again just to break me like a promise

So casually cruel in the name of being honest
I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here
'Cause I remember it all, all, all too well

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it

I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it
After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own
Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week

'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me
You can't get rid of it 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah

'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so

Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all

Down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well